and it is only Friday

today was a series of small tasks made at least 4 times more difficult by the presence of two small children.  we started with yet another orientation at the kids' new school where beatrice listened, behaved, and participated like a champ.  unfortunately it was not HER orientation but since hardie spent most of the time curled up in a ball screeching 'no no no' anytime anyone came near him, i'm at least pleased that someone enjoyed the morning.  in the end, hardie came around enough to put together a puzzle and stand in line.  he wasn't really interested in walking in that line as much as he just wanted to plant himself in between two other kids and linger but, meh, i will call that a victory and declare orientation 2.0 an unprecedented success.

orientation as simple task: go to school, fill out paperwork, pat self on back for being 'involved'
orientation 4 times more difficult: lack of coordinated pee times coupled with lack of multi-gendered/multi-aged bathrooms

one of two activities hardie would try...

...and the second.  way to plant, hardie.

since bea's unfortunate staph infection was looking worse, we had to take a detour to the doctor.  thankfully, he seemed hopeful that things would clear up with a stronger round of antibiotics and the suggestion to bathe the beazle in either epsom salts or bleach.  i decided to go with the epsom salts although i'm not sure how epsom salts and bleach have the same properties outside of both being, um, stuff you can buy at a mid-sized grocery store.  when bea gets better i'm going to try adding epsom salts to my laundry and bleach to my sore muscles.


doctor as simple task: 'hi, doctor - this is my child sitting quietly on the exam table.  she would like to cooperate while you examine her condition.'
doctor 4 times more difficult: 'i'm sorry about your stethoscope.  and your computer.  and that lighted thingy that you use in people's ear.  and that book.  oh, and whatever it was that my son just broke behind me that i can't even see but can hear the unmistakable crunching sound of plastic beneath a foot.  can you write any instructions you may have for me onto a piece of paper?  my kid just ran down the hall and probably she should be wearing these pants.'

aaaaaaaaaaaaand haircuts.  miya gave hardie the 'look less like a giant-headed monster and more like a real little boy' cut and bea opted for the 'fix the part of her hair that she chewed off' do.  also, yes.  she chewed off part of her hair.  


hair cut as simple task: hair cut.  cut.  hair.
hair cut 4 times more difficult: no child locks on the up/down chair buttons

but wait! there's more!  after yoga (friday is family yoga night) we went for a swim.  a super quick swim because it was cold and there were some jerk kids.  i try not to judge other parents but when your 9-10 year-old son tells my daughter to shut up and then he kicks people's belongings into the pool you may want to think about a discipline technique other than shrugging.  you should also look a little less disturbed when someone calls your jerk kid a jerk and then suggest that someone kick him.  i would have kicked him myself but it was really cold and i didn't want to move.  also i'm pretty sure i would have been arrested if i'd actually kicked a child that wasn't my own.  jerk.

pool as simple task: sun, swim, leave when bored.

pool 4 times more difficult: three bodies, one towel.