where oh where has my little blog gone

since robby's iraq visa has been stalled for weeks, i haven't had much need to update my little blog here.  doesn't make sense to document the kids' life for their dad when he is around, right?  thing is?  i miss it.  i miss being able to reflect on our lives and sometimes maybe have a poignant insight into...yeah, who am i kidding - i like posting pictures of my children.

i'm also having a bittersweet morning since last night i said goodbye to the last vestige of babyhood - hardie now sleeps in big boy panties.  i didn't attempt overnight potty training with either of my kids, figuring the financial cost of pull-ups to be less than the physical and emotional cost of waking up to take a sleeping baby to the bathroom so they don't wet the bed.  i figured i'd just let it go and eventually it would work itself out, hopefully before junior high.  with each, i waited until i could no longer remember a wet pull-up in the morning and just stopped bothering with them.  so last night, a Very Excited Hardie got to sleep in big boy panties.  while i'm super excited to save the cash and cabinet space by not requiring giant bags of disposable underpants, i kept help but look around and see nary a single baby item.  no diapers, no pacifiers, no bottles, no sippy cups, no tiny utensils, no tiny plates, no clothes with snaps, no alphabet blocks.  my kids watch cartoons with plots and brush their own hair and ride bikes without training wheels.  they lose teeth and tie shows and tell each other secrets.  they still come to me when they get hurt or want to be held but, mostly, i am slowly drifting away from the center of their universe. 

i applaud their independence but a part of my heart aches knowing that i will never again inhale the weird cheerios breath of my newborn baby.  i guess i'll have to make due with awkwardly sticking my nose into babies who do not belong to me.  i apologize in advance, present and future new mothers.  

big boy with flashlight